The over thinker in me ( worry wort I think the medical term is called ) has always been interested in what if, those moments throughout the day, where you were planning to do something or say something, and it did not go as planned. Those moments could be big or small, but they all mount up later on in life.
The wrong word being said, misreading of insrtuctions, failure to understand reactions or just pressing ahead with a plan that is going awray, all contrubute to ever changing scenarios – just thinking of all the potentil pitfalls and succeses is making my head spin ( thank goodness I am pretty dim witted most of the time )
Having read some of my previous blogs, I am going to try and keep things light-hearted ( I tend to start upbeat, but like gizmo after a bite to eat after 12, it quickly gets dark! ) even though it still looks like they are have having a whale of a time – though their cinema code of conduct leaves something to be desired.
A simple case of different factors, coming together to create a incident which made me guffaw like a paralytic hyena. I was out with my friend a few months back, it was about 9pm on a Saturday, we normally meet up during the day ( like a bunch old guys let out from their retirement homes )
We tend to do a pact of being sensible with our drink intake, adhere to the pact after half a pint,congratulating ourselves at the grown up sophistication and restraint we have shown so far, start to question our original pact after the second, lamenting our lame attempts at being responsible drinking adults, then fairly swiftly, start to regret our decision to forget the pact. Thankfully, after the 5th pint, we come to our senses, and make haste and scurry, slightly less easier on our feet, back to the safety of our homes. ( which tends to end with me making a detour to Sainsbury’s to collect all sorts of comfort food and regret )
Anyway, like a couple of tired pigeons at the end of a snapping branch,we were perched outside in The Eagle Vaults, on a slightly lop sided table,this being a Saturday night, it was overwhelmed with pub goers, I could go on forever, describing the various mixtures of personalities, but frankly I would bore you and myself – but any pub where a 1 year old baby is celebrating their birthday, is a pub which instills mixed feelings. I was already feeling like we did not belong amongst the party loving youth we saw ourselves surrounded by, we were the black and white film stars, trying to make it in a world of colour.
We had just got the second round in, a nice full pint of your finest, cheapest alcohol, at the time I was a little to the right on the table opposite my friend, this was annoying me, so I shifted slightly to the left – which turned out to be a vital action for later, My friend, who was polity listening and nodding along to my stories, like someone who is wondering where on earth the story is going, or if it is going to end ( much like this blog ) now had his attention somewhere behind me, which I took the cue to stop talking – normally it takes someone to just up and leave, before I stop talking nonsense. My friend started to acknowledge someone behind me, so it was not my boring stories that had distracted him, but the surprise of recognising someone he knew, then my friend attempted a wave, not a manly wave – though I dont think you can ever wave without looking like an awkward, coked up children’s presenter, yearning for the camera to be off, so you can forget the pretenses of being happy around children.
No, my friend limply and slowly moved his arm over the table ( full of all the energy a Sloth would bring to an all night slumber party ) like he was reaching for his pint, but instead, rather oddly, pushed the back of his hand through his full pint, followed by a regretful, sheepish little wave – as my friend was doing his pathetic, regretful wave of acknowledgement, the pint toppled across the table, sending a full pint rushing past me , hitting the floor and snaking its way to other pub goers – everyone around the pub were thankfully too wrapped up in their own giddy time, to stop what they were doing, and silently stare at the table of incompetence we now ended up as. like the supportive friend I am, I Broke out into unnecessarily loud hysterics, pointing and goading at the slow motion idiocy that just occured.
Spilt pints do not normally make me laugh so much, definitely if I was the one who spilt it, you cant really come back from it on the day socially,you have made your table look like drunken idiots, cleaning now is a part of your evening , you have to deal with passive aggressive staff stating ” no, its fine ” and you have just wasted a perfectly fine pint – which most likely you have to replace yourself.
What intrigued me, were all the little moments of actions that created that pint spilling occurrence, who ever my friend did a half assed wave too ( and it was incredibly half assed) , was complicit in our little moment of embarrassment. If my friend never knew this person, the whole evening would of started very differently, if we did not meet later than we normally do, we would not of been forced to slum it outside in The Eagle And Vaults, if my friend did not smoke, we would of probably went inside in the warmth, even though a lacklustre night club was being attempted inside ( which involved a couple of lazy on the feet pub goers, making a ham fisted attempt at John Travolta moves ) if I did not decide to move to the left minutes earlier, I would of been soaked in cheap beer, ( and find it considebly less amusing ) in one slow, limp wristed wave, my friends moment of embarrassment,would of invaded itself onto me, instead of allowing me to be a mocking bystander in the whole beer soaked mess surrounding us.
I have spent nearly 1000 words talking about a beer spillage, it was a small moment with a good friend, which was a funny little incident for me, but it got me thinking about how little actions, can create a good or bad scenario – the bad scenario can in time, turn in on its self and show it self to be good. I am tired of letting myself down with what I want to achieve with my Photography, by fearing action and letting anxiety stop me from letting a scenario unfold. I want to look at an opportunity next time,and think of all the endless possibilities that could reveal themselves to me, I could get them all wrong, but end up with something far more meaningful.
That is a lot better than “what if ”